Grief is a natural part of life that we all experience at some point.  Grief can be an overwhelming experience.  Although grief is a universal experience, no two people experience it the same way.   It impacts more than emotions.  It is a process that involves behavioral, social, cultural, and spiritual dimensions that takes time and effort to process.

​

Emotionally, grief can manifest as feelings of sadness, shock, numbness, disbelief, anger, anxiety, guilt, and loneliness.  The psychological upheaval can feel like a period of unreality and like your foundation has been pulled out from under you as your mind tries to process what has happened.  Many of these would occur right after the death, especially if the end were unexpected.  The newly bereaved may be bombarded by obsessive thoughts of the deceased in their anxiety and distress.  They experience tearfulness and bouts of crying, anger, dreams, and illusions of the dead.  They are visually vigilant of reminders of times, places, and experiences shared with the deceased.

 

Grief can affect all aspects of your life.  Physically, grief can lead to loss of interest, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and changes in appetite and weight.  The ability to participate in day-to-day living is impaired.  Cognitively, grief can affect your ability to focus, concentrate, pay attention, remember, and make decisions.  It can also trigger thoughts and memories associated with the loss, making it difficult to move on.  Behaviorally, grief can lead to withdrawal, avoidance, acting out of feelings, use of alcohol or drugs, and mood-altering behavior.  The ability to cope with loss is affected by the relationship, your personality, the circumstances surrounding death, your coping skills and mental health, the amount of support, cultural and religious background, and social and financial situations.  Grief can affect your relationships.  Numbing and emotionally shutting down makes connecting with loved ones or attending social events creating isolation.

 

Traditional and cultural beliefs, rituals, and customs influence grief.  Loss can raise questions about the meaning of life, death, and existence, and culture bring on an existential crisis as you struggle to find meaning and purpose in the face of loss.  Mourning, expressing, and processing grief through rituals and traditions, is an important part of coping with loss.  It allows us to honor the life of the person we've lost and find meaning in the experience.

​

Anticipatory grief is the process of grieving while the loved one is still alive.  Family members and significant others begin to experience the grieving response as they prepare for the impending loss.  It could start with a terminal diagnosis or occur over time as the inevitability of the loss is recognized.  There are mixed reports on whether anticipatory grief helps reduce the pain of the loss or the mourning period.

Everything mentioned is about normal grief.  There is a difference between ordinary and complicated grief.  Normal grief is a natural response to loss, and while it can be painful, it typically lessens over time.  Most people experience waves of grief with diminishing intensity and frequency over time.  Complicated grief, on the other hand, is when grief stays at a consistently unmanageable level of intensity.  It does not improve with time and becomes debilitating.  Some complications are depression, unremitting anxiety, and other mental health issues.

​

Grief is a complex and multifaceted experience that affects every part of our lives.  Processing significant loss can take time, effort, and support, but you can accomplish it in your own way.  Several factors can influence how well you cope with grief.  Your personality, coping style, social support, and beliefs can all play a role.  It's essential to be patient, to have self-compassion, and to seek out the support you need to navigate this challenging time.

​

More Grief, Bereavement, and Loss Articles

​

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

​

To access these articles, click on the article title to open a PDF. You may save or print them. When sharing, please remember to provide proper attribution to both the author and this website. Editing or republishing is not allowed.

 

Table of Contents

​

Solitary Paths: The Universal Yet Unique Experience of Grief and Loss

​

Bereavement and Beyond: Building Resilience in the Face of Loss

​

Navigating Grief: Understanding the Transition from Normal Grief to Complicated Bereavement
 

Recovering From Job Loss: Understanding the Impact of Complicated Grief, Depression, and Anxiety

​​

​

Note: To download Adobe Acrobat Reader for free, click here .

​