"The Family Trap: No One Escapes From a Chemically Dependent Family," by Sharon Wegschelder-Cruse, is a treatment center favorite for teaching about the family dynamics of addiction. This pamphlet outlines family systems concepts and identifies stereotypical roles that emerge within family dynamics of substance use disorder. The information remains relevant today, highlighting crucial concepts and survival roles.

Central to understanding the family's experience is the recognition of the family as a system—a complex entity consisting of bi-directional influence --where each part of the family influences and is influenced by every other part. Addiction within a family system tends to breed or perpetuate dysfunction. The relationship between the substance-using family member and the chemical impacts every member of the family. People afflicted by substance use disorder often believe that their use of chemicals is hurting no one but themselves. This belief is usually not true.

The substance use problems of one member affect the entire family, causing pain for both the individual with the disorder and other family members. As the addiction progresses, family members adapt to the changes, leading to stereotyped dynamics of interaction. Survival roles emerge as a way for family members to navigate personal pain and stress.

These survival roles, much like actors' roles in a play, include the "family member with substance use disorder" (formerly referred to as the "addict"), the "primary enabler," the "family hero," the "lost child," the "scapegoat," and the "mascot." During active addiction, family members may not be aware that they are embodying these roles, which serve the purpose of reducing emotional pain and stress within the family.

As someone's addiction continues, it takes a toll on various aspects of their life, including relationships, work, spirituality, mental and emotional health, and physical health. The family, too, is affected, experiencing some of the same negative consequences as the afflicted person. Family members develop defenses to survive the trauma and chaos and to cope with the pain. These defenses, akin to the denial that the person with an addiction employs, create a barrier that separates the family from reality.

The chief enabler, usually a spouse or parent, may feel an increasing compulsion to regain control over the chemical for their loved one. They typically take over responsibilities such as managing household tasks, financial obligations, and family affairs, all while concealing underlying feelings of powerlessness, seriousness, self-blame, super-responsibility, manipulation, and self-pity.

The family hero, typically the oldest child, attempts to alleviate family pain by excelling in various roles, such as school athlete, class president, or cheerleader. However, the progressive nature of addiction makes it challenging for the family hero to maintain these roles. Their defenses include success, excessive responsibility, a sense of "feeling special," cultivating an independent life away from the family, seeking approval through hard work, and projecting an image of competence and confidence.

The scapegoat, often labeled as "the problem," diverts attention from the family's core issues by consistently getting into trouble. This individual seeks peer approval rather than through hard work within the family. Their defenses include withdrawing from the family to the peer group, having an unplanned pregnancy, drinking or using drugs, acting out, and displaying angry, defiant, and sullen behavior.

The lost child, typically the middle child, withdraws as a survival mechanism, turning inward and engaging in fantasy. Unlike the scapegoat, this child runs from social interactions and avoids attention. The quiet, aloof, withdrawn, super-independent characteristics are the wall of defense.

The mascot, often the youngest sibling, brings humor and charm to the family but is not taken seriously. Their role is to provide entertainment, yet they may be unaware of the family's underlying issues. Their defenses include hyperactive, funny, cute, and clowning around behavior, serving as a distraction to gain the attention they crave.

While the family member afflicted with substance use disorder feels guilt, shame, hurt, and fear, they hide these emotions behind defenses such as anger, charm, rigidity, perfectionism, grandiosity, self-righteousness, and aggression.

Each family member exhibits specific repetitive behaviors associated with these survival roles, incurring personal costs. These roles may persist beyond the addicted system, influencing new families or work contexts as children grow up. They can also be passed down through generations, shaping subsequent family dynamics.

In conclusion, understanding these survival roles is crucial for recognizing and addressing the impact of substance use disorder on families. Breaking free from these roles requires awareness, support, and a commitment to healing.

Sources:
Wegsheider-Cruse, Sharon. 1976. The Family Trap, Johnson Institute. Wegsheider-Cruse, Sharon, 1989. Another Chance-Hope and Help for the
Alcoholic Family, Science, and Behavior Books.
Note: This article has been revised and edited from its original version, which was previously published in 2011 on this site. The content has been updated for contemporary language, clarity and accuracy.