Middle age is an essential phase of life, typically from the late 40s to the mid-60s. During this stage, people have raised children, settled into a career, and experienced the beginning of physical decline, witnessed by grey hair or hair loss, wrinkles and age spots, and declining vision and hearing. Many experience weight gain, lovingly termed  "middle age spread." Mid-lifers, in their 40s and 50s, have life experiences that influence their perspectives, rearrange their priorities, and may alter their dreams and goals.  The demands of middle-adulthood involve inflation of personal, professional, and familial responsibilities.  These changes demand self-awareness, flexibility and resilience. Adults at mid-life are called upon to have solid proactive problem-solving skills to juggle their complex responsibilities to grow through this transformative period successfully.

 

"Who am I" and "How Am I Doing?"

According to Erikson's psychosocial developmental stages, mid-life is a time of introspection and self-reflection about life purpose, achievements, and personal fulfillment. The process of self-reflection and assessment can lead to a midlife crisis if you find yourself falling short. In this stage, mid-life adults are also trying to create or invest in what will outlast them, notably their children, community service, or professional contributions that will outlive them. These are some developmental challenges of Erikson's "generativity vs. stagnation stage of development."

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Career Transitions and Identity Shifts:
Middle aged career changes may be related to a perceived lack of meaning or or satisfaction with job or career.  Conflicting role demands with career requirements may also lead to mid-life career transitions. The pile-up of ever-changing stressors and demands at mid-life often prompts individuals to reassess their career paths and goals as they assess their satisfaction with various aspects of their lives. They may change professions, start businesses, or pursue other passions to reconcile the desire for personal satisfaction.  They may also be believe they have to choose between work or career and the demands of other responsibilities, especially regarding taking care of others.

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Changing Family Membership and Dynamics

Empty Nest

The changing family structure and their corresponding dynamics continue to evolve through middle age. It could involve “the empty nest”, where they children have all launched.  The "empty nest syndrome" can evoke a variety of emotions. While the idea of newfound freedom can be quite attractive, there is often a sense of loss and confusion about redefining roles with “independent” young adults. Partners focused on raising kids discover they are alone with the person they married so long ago. They can work together to establish open communication, reclaim shared activities with their partner, and navigate these transitions together. They may also be conflicted about roles and goals for this transitional period and work against each other.

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Boomerang Offspring

There are also young adult children who are having a hard time launching, living independently away from home, or boomerang children, who having lived away from home, return to the family home.  These two conditions are often a source of conflicts between spouses.  Adult children that are having difficulty launching or are returning home after having lived away from home, are often at least partly in this position because of economic challenges.  Parents often have mixed feelings about having their adult children in their home.  They may feel joy on one hand, and a sense of loss and disappointment over the anticipated freedom of the empty nest.  Adult children in the home may call for renegotiating roles, responsibilities and expectations due to changes in family dynamics.

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Grand-parenthood:

During midlife, individuals become grandparents, often necessitating negotiating with adult children about the roles and responsibilities they will provide for their grandchildren. Grandparents and their adult children often have differences in perspectives, values, and lifestyle choices.  Communication and problem-solving efforts are often needed for both generations to change and meet in the middle. Problem-solving efforts often involve boundary setting.  

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The Sandwich Generation

In the mean time, mid-life adults start losing their parents and dealing with grief, and become card-carrying members of "The Sandwich Generation.” The sandwich generation refers to mid-life adults caring for at least one aging parent and raising their children or providing financial and other support for their grown children (and maybe grandchildren). While taking care of others, they are also trying to manage their changing health and well-being: They are often heavier, have less energy, occasionally suffer sleeping difficulties, and generally feel stressed out because of all the conflicting demands. They may be working on lifestyle changes to improve health with healthier eating habits, regular exercise, and the development of stress management techniques and habits. They are trying to develop new healthier, habits and prioritize their health.

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Preparing for Their Old Age

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Mid-life adults are also concerned about their upcoming retirement and may be playing catch up with financial and retirement planning. In doing so, they are trying to maintain their current lifestyle while planning for the future. Financial demands may involve their own household and helping adult children and aging parents financially. One of the biggest fears that mid-life and late-life adults have is the fear of outliving their money. Worry about the economy, along with everything else, can exacerbate stress.  Couples can be a source of help for stress management or another source of stress as conflicts arise over differing goals, philosophies or spending behaviors.

 

Mid-life Crises?

The recognition that “now is the time” leaves mid-lifers standing at the cross-road.  Middle-aged adults have more control over their life outcomes than they ever had before and ever will again. "Middle-agers" face crucial choices. Although many developmental scholars question the validity of mid-life crisis, a “crisis” certainly can be triggered by feeling stuck, trauma, loss, changing circumstances of physical health or ability, finances, relationships, and coming to grips with your eventual mortality. These circumstances and events bring many middle aged people to counseling for help in dealing with these changes and challenges.  

Developmental challenges of middle age are an emotionally, personally, physically, financially, and socially challenging time of life. Adjusting to change, developing resilience, and a positive mindset are crucial in successfully navigating this stage of life. The need to address career and financial demands, ever-evolving family dynamics, and physical and emotional health and well-being challenges often demand self-reflection, problem-solving, planning, and new skills development to navigate middle age with purpose and fulfillment.

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Middle Age Articles

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By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

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Table of Contents

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Taking Care of Your Parents in “Old Age”: Managing Stress in The Sandwich Generation
 

When Your Sandwich Generation Marriage Feels Flat and Lifeless

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Relationship Expectations in Retirement

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The Importance of Communication For Empty Nesting Couples

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Aging and Depression: Challenges and Protective Factors Explored

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